I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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