it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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