Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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