ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
