I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
