Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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