jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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