Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
