I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Success! We fucked roommates!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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