I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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