Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
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Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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