I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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