Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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