dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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