I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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