And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
