do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.