Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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