Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
