Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize