Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
