i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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