yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
