we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
