So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
