I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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