1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
