You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize