i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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