She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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