dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
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My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
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He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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