this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This is the high leading the old right now
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
