better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
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ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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