in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you mean i was at the winter classic?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
