You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
