quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
