yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
