NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
