Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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