Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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