I think i peed on brittanys purse
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
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And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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