We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Randomize
