hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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