I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize