have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
These tits shall not be calmed
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize