You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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