Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize