Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
