You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
