he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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