Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He passed out mid-signature
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
