As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
smell my finger.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
