lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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