The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
