wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
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when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
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When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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