it was like eating out sand paper
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
