So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize