youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
