JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize