Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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