you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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