I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
